Blog buddies, I need your help: Wedding SOS!!

My cousin is getting married on Saturday, and she asked me to give a reading at the ceremony. As usual, I’ve procrastinated — but not totally on purpose, honest!! School work has been taking up so much of my time — creating 35 drawings (OK, I cheated, 32) and completing five assignments (including a full-colour room rendering) in seven weeks took a lot of time. Plus it sucked the creative mojo right our of me.

Now I have less than three days to figure out what to read, and I’m at a complete loss.

I need to come up with something FAST. How about a limerick?

There once was a girl from Nantucket…

Hahaha!! OK, no, maybe not. A poem?

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

This is the best I’ve got,

So it’ll have to do.

See, told you, no creative mojo.

But I haven’t been completely delinquent — my dress from Peach Berserk in Toronto has arrived. Yay!! Kingi Carpenter creates fun & funky patterns that she silkscreens onto any colour fabric that you want, so chances are every dress will be one-of-a-kind. This is the dress I picked — just a simple cotton dress:

And the pattern is Swingin From The Chandeliers in purple and pink:

I found a pair of pink metallic shoes*, and my toes are freshly-polished in bright iridescent purple:

I know, subtle ;-) But at least I won’t be naked when I’m standing in front of a church full of people with nothing to say… and it’ll be even better if I’m not naked AND speechless at the same time!!

So, my fantastically smart and talented and creative blog buddies, I need your help!! I want the reading to be fun and light-hearted and a bit unexpected. But it can’t include the word “scrotum” — I ran that one by my cousin and she poo-poo’d it. (On a side note, I did use the word “scrotum” in a speech at a friend’s wedding and I didn’t get struck by lightning or anything).

If you have something that fits the bill, please leave a comment and let me know!! And the sooner the better, because I’m just a tad stressed about this…